THE HIDDEN — CHAPTER TWO — T.D. BARTON & DEREK BARTON

TH CH 2

 

CHAPTER TWO – THE PATH:

Our lives are finite, limited things, but the path that appeared in front of Nate continued on forever. He stood in fascination, gazing down its curved length. The path wandered to the left and then swept back to the right again until out of sight.

No one would be able to see him there in the corn. His brow furrowed and he scratched his head in wonder. That had been part of the appeal of this hike in the first place. No one could see him or could have known he was there. Never in his life had he been granted a luxury to be nowhere, unseen and unnoticed. Isolated from the billions of men and women who swarm over the surface of this planet.

He had always been a child of the city — the great metropolis, Chicago. Born from urbanite parents who were themselves the offspring of immigrants from one of the great cities of Europe. There were no farmers in his family tree. No country gentlemen cast their genes into the pool of his ancestors. His recent acquisition of this sprawling farm in the rolling heartland had left him overwhelmed and out of his element.

Even before the first installment of the lottery winnings arrived, he knew that the first thing he intended buying was land. Somewhere deep down inside himself, his very being longed for stability and security of land ownership.

This had nothing to do with real estate values, tax deferments or any such financial considerations. This was about being in touch with something solid – something that had permanence and could bring meaning to his existence.

City life had bestowed a blithe obduracy upon everyone he knew including himself. It was to the point that all aspects of living held a vague blandness. There were no colors left in his world, only a miasma of smoky shades of dull brown and gray. His life had become a living embodiment of olive drab. Nothing shocked him anymore or touched off the spark of life necessary to maintain human existence.

From the time Nate quit college halfway through his sophomore year and took a job in a grocery store, his life seemed to stall. At age thirty-two, everything was planned out for him with no surprises.

First, he had started out stocking shelves.  He gradually ascended up the chain of command and earned a promotion to Night Crew Supervisor. Recently, he was promoted to the post of Head of the Produce Department. But still, he was trapped in a meaningless job and a do-nothing lifestyle.

As a result, his marriage suffered teetered on the brink of self-destruction. Night after night, he dragged home to find his wife, Zelda, waiting for him. They would alternately argue about trivial things or cling in desperation to each other. They did not understand what had become of the closeness they once had shared.

At first, she had believed in him.

“Someday,” he would promise, gazing into her quiet brown eyes. “I’m going to turn it all around — to make it happen for us, somehow. You just hang in there with me ‘til then, honey. I’m going to be something… something big…”

Zelda’s gaze would soften and her eyes would become dewy as a glimmer of trust would appear. She would smile as if to say, it doesn’t matter, my dear if you do these things or not because I love you. I may not always have confidence in the things you say, but I will always love you.

At least, that was how it had been early on.  As time went on and after so many speeches or promises, the degeneration of their relationship continued, he had been noticing it took longer for that glimmer to appear in her eyes. The look of trust had devolved into something more akin to patient commiseration or even reproach, depending on her mood.

God! How he hated THAT LOOK!

Some nights, in his dreams he would turn to Zelda for something and she would fix him with THAT LOOK.  He’d wake up in a cold sweat and he’d turn to her.  Invariably, she would be lying with her back to him, snoring lightly. Her dark hair a nest on the pillow beside him. He would wrap his arms around her and pull her close.  Ignoring her soft moans of protest as she continued to sleep, he’d bury his face in her back and pray that things would be normal once again. That he would wake in the morning to a world of bright colors.  Would somehow find a way to put his life back on track before he lost the love of this beautiful woman.

He felt deep down inside that he’d already lost her respect. The idea of waking in the morning and seeing pity in those eyes was a concept he didn’t even want to consider. Not if he were going to get any sleep at all. So he would close his eyes and pray.

Eventually, his prayers would bleed over into dreams. THAT LOOK stalked him relentlessly until the morning alarm would rescue him. Bleary-eyed, exhausted and defeated, he would trudge off into his gray world once again.

Something crackled in the corn a few feet to his left, breaking his train of thought. He whipped around to look – nothing was there. Suddenly, he was struck by the knowledge that no one knew he was out there in the cornfield, all alone.  An unsettling sense of dread crept over him.

He glanced around, feeling as though someone or something was watching him. His gramma used to say someone was “walking on her grave.” It was certainly as silent as the grave out there.  It was mid-September and summer had settled in for the duration. The days were sluggish, over-confident and unmindful of the fact that autumn lay just around the corner and would soon move in to send it packing like some fat old uncle who had overstayed his welcome.

The sun beat down out of a china-blue sky, baking the ground and making the light-brown leaves of the corn curl at the tips.  What breeze there was could not penetrate the rows of corn, but skimmed overhead brushing the tassels. The leaves whispered a soft, scraping sound as they whisked together.  In his disquieted state, the whispering mocked him in small voices — exchanging sinister plans below his range of hearing.

He stopped and peered into the corn, holding his breath and straining his ears to pick out the slightest sound. But all he could hear was his hammering heart and the plants rustling.

Shaking it off, he forced a laugh. He spoke aloud to ease his nerves. “You’ve just got a case of the willies.  Truth is, it is safer out here than walking down any street in Chicago!”

Chicago! Not only were they safer from crime here, but safe from the malaise that had swept into their lives, smothering the fires of their existence.

Here, we get the chance to start all over! Nate thought to himself. The lottery winnings had been a windfall, not only financially but spiritually. At last, they would have the wherewithal to achieve their dreams. It was like being set free from a terrible prison. Confinement of a heart without dreams was more oppressive than the vaulted walls of any concrete and steel institution.

But now we’ve bought our own land of dreams.

Here was a brilliant world of colors. In the early morning dew, sparkling yellow, violet, pink, lavender and white flowers were sprinkled about the entire countryside by a bright-eyed Mother Nature. Deep greens, dappled with sunlight in the late afternoon spread like plush tapestry across their front lawn. Bright, blue skies turned azure in the evenings. And finally, as the sun slipped past the horizon, it drew curtains of golden reds and oranges along behind it.

So abundant were the colors and the air so clear in this rural utopia, it sometimes hurt his eyes. But no matter. When the brightness did overwhelm him, he would close his eyes, lean back and drink in the freshness of the air. This acted like a magical balm upon his spirit.

This setting was going to do more for their morale and their marriage than anything else his seven-odd million dollars would buy.

It was when he bought this place that he really hit his jackpot.

***

 

Dzhankah didn’t know this one — this Meat was new, but Dzhankah would follow. Follow and observe…Stalking was his specialty.

His nostrils burned with the scent of him. It was heavenly sweet and tantalizing.  The fat, succulent flesh basted with a fine coating of sweat. And underlying it all was the enticing, heady aroma of adrenaline which coaxed and urged him to throw caution to the wind. Pounce, rend and tear the tasty morsels from the bone.

Afterward, oh what a joy to lie amidst the corn rows licking the sticky, cloying blood from his face and claws. Gnawing contently on a bone, pushing it far into his mouth so that his strong molars could crack and splinter it. The pulpy red marrow exposed, ripe for sucking…

But no! Not yet. His instincts checked his actions.

Survival was patience and caution; not by being impulsive. The time to determine opportunity had not yet come. There would be a time for feasting of that he was quite sure.

Drool escaped his lips, strands dripped slowly from the tips of his protruding canines and ran down along his chin to the edge of a leaf where it stretched into a sparkling string.

He leaned forward, straining with the effort to control his hunting lust…

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2017 Bio Blog — Derek Barton

JJ 2016 #2

 

Recently I noticed a trend on Youtube.com where writers were making vlogs and answering questions about themselves as well as writing rituals and practices.  So, I thought I would do this as well and even throw in some random personal questions.  You can learn a few things I do as well as learn something new about me at the same time!

I will start with the writing ritual questions first and then get down to some random and fun facts about me.

  • When do you write?  I am a night owl which is perfect for my writing as I need the quiet time to be free of distractions.  These elements help me to immerse into my writing zone.  With my day job I am fortunate that it starts later in the day and I can sleep in!  Usually, I write from 11 or 11:30 pm to 1:30 to 2am.
  • How do you review what you wrote the previous day?  There is a lot of sound advice out there on how to produce more material on a daily basis.  The best tip so far that I picked up suggests to work non-stop and do not edit until you have completed your manuscript.  I cannot say that it was easy to resist the edit bug, but Consequences Within Chaos‘s first rough draft took me three years to write (I wasn’t as serious about writing and producing as I am now).  The Bleeding Crown, my sequel’s rough draft has only taken five months… I would say that this is proof enough that it helped me crank it out much faster.
  • What song is your “go to” when you are feeling uninspired?  I prefer to listen to classical music when I write.  Nothing but instrumentals.  At first, I used Pandora, but now I like to find large blocks of “epic music” on Youtube.  I let them play in the background as I work.  Depending on the type of story or my mood this can vary, but I do not have a “go to” song necessarily.  Soundtracks from Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings or Braveheart also have been able to motivate me.
  • What do you always do when you are struggling with writers’ block?  To avoid writers’ block and staring at a blank screen, I work up detailed outlines.  There are many benefits to outlines and developing character backgrounds.  Prepping is the key to getting into that writer zone — that moment your writing flows from your fingertips and there is no struggle to find the right word or dialog.  I have already seen the scene in my head and now I can concentrate on relaying it in the best descriptive details I can.
  • What tools do you use when you are drafting?  I used Microsoft Word like everyone else at first, but now I prefer the writers’ program called Scrivener.  It seems that there is no middle ground in opinions on it.  You either LOVE IT OR HATE IT.  I love it!  It has a great setup to store the work, organize the notes, templates for character write-ups, outlines, everything all in one file and place.  With Word, I had a million files.  Scrivener also lets you have split screening which comes in handy often.
  • What are the things you cannot live without when you are writing?  Pretty much what I have already discussed:  Scrivener has become an integral part of my work.  And Outlining a must.  Before I realized that I work best with a map of my story, I failed to complete most stories and/or lost interests or energy in the storyline.
  • How do you fuel yourself during writing sessions?  Diet Rockstars and Popsecret Homestyle Microwave popcorn.
  • How do you know when you are done writing?  For a typical writing session, I am done when my eyes are blurring and I cannot easily put a sentence together.  I strive for a certain word count (or if I am feeling energetic, I try to do a particular scene in one shot).  My goal is 750 to 1,000 words in a session but it depends on the night, the scene I am writing and my energy level.
  • How do you persevere on projects to finish them?  Again, outlines have become the “light at the end of the tunnel” for me.  However, they can be a detriment as well if you let it completely control your writing.  In some cases, writers have complained that they are too confined by the outline or they get thrown off if they have an idea that flows outside the outline.  Or if you do like I did at the end of my first book — I kept seeing how close I was and I literally blazed through the last part to just get to that “The End” statement.  It didn’t lend itself well to the story and took a lot of rewriting.  Now that I am more experienced I have a little better control of myself.  Whatever is the case, one important factor to remember is that outlines are constructs for your use, not words set in stone.  If something strikes you suddenly and it isn’t in your outline, then simply add it. See where the idea takes you in the outline.  It is much easier to amend, add or subtract from an outline than if you change your whole story, rewrote a massive amount of text to only find out it doesn’t work after all.   As you can see, I approach writing now much more on an organized, structured viewpoint (I have poured myself into reading a lot of advice books and writing craft material).  With my word counts per day and scheduling, I know roughly when I am going to be done. I would have to say that of the various stages in writing, outlining has become my favorite.  Building that foundation produces that momentum and drive I need to finish.  I know how the idea is going to end and now I just have to write it out so that I can share that fantastic story and ending with you!
  • How do you keep consistency in your novels?  Scrivener has become a large help with keeping notes and such, but I also utilize Excel charting, Pinterest for story sources and Word files for isolated notes (you can import these into Scrivener as well).  Also, I read once that if you go back through your manuscript after you write it and plot out all the events on a timeline as they occur in the prose, you will see any possible plot holes or events that happen out of order.
  • How do you handle when you are stuck in your plot?  OYYY That is so hard to get through.  I have encountered that when a question occurs to me that I haven’t determined the answer for yet or it has happened when I haven’t really fleshed out the outline enough for that part of the story.  Take a short break, move on to the next part or go back to your outline to further think of ways to move through the block.  Give yourself some distance from it so as to give yourself another vantage point to see the issue.  Also, sometimes you can hit up other writers to bounce ideas off or you can hit the internet for possible answers or options.
  • How do you come up with ideas to fill out your outline?  Pretty much the same answer as the above question.  Maybe think of a new subplot that would add to the story that you could weave into the outline?  Be careful though.  Don’t add filler or fluff just to make word counts.  Readers will see right through that.  Make the quality just as important as the quantity as well.  Filling up the outline takes a lot of thought and this is where I have had “writers’ block” and frustration, but ideas eventually come.  Some writers let their subconscious mull it over as they sleep or during the day while on their day jobs.
  • How long did it take to write your first draft and how many edits?  I already said that the first draft was three years, but it took another two years of editing, refining, reworking and adding to the story.  Then I had to determine which path I was going to take:  Traditional or Self-publishing.  I am truly happy with the self-publishing route and the entire process has been very fulfilling.  I have learned a massive amount about my writing, myself and the writing industry over the last year.  It has also enhanced my work and my techniques.  I am passing a lot of what I learned in blogs like this so you can also jumpstart your own paths.
  • How long do you wait to revise your first draft?  This time I waited over 5 weeks (it was not easy) but was way worth the “time off” to recharge, work on other projects and was a bit of an award for working so hard.  Now I am in the heart of my first edit.  Industry experts suggest 6 weeks.  It just so happened the first of the month came up during the fifth week so it felt right to start then.  The first time I didn’t take any time off after writing to wait to edit.
  • Is there a genre that is outside your comfort zone that you think would be fun to write?   Currently, I am a horror/medieval fantasy writer and I love both.  I like to write horror just a tad more but I love to read fantasy so much that I write fantasy stories for me.  I used to read an Ed McBain’s detective novels (87th Precinct) and Stephen King’s Mr. Mercedes series has also inspired me to write in the “hard-boiled grim detective” genre.  I will be writing my Elude Novels during the NaNoWriMo Challenge this November.  I have been excited about it and so far I have gotten some really positive reactions from the samples posted online.

Now for some more personal stuff and random questions 🙂

  • Where were you born?  I am originally from a small town called Warsaw, Indiana.  I moved out to Phoenix, Arizona in 1996 and have loved it for over twenty-one years!  Summer year round is amazing.
  • What is your favorite pizza toppings?  I am a huge Hawaiian Pizza fan but it doesn’t take much to please me with pizza — just throw a couple types of meat and some cheese on it and I am there!
  • If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?  I love Snow Crab Legs!  Thanks go to my wife for showing me the great wonders of crab.
  • Where have you traveled outside the country?  I haven’t done much traveling, but I have been to Rocky Point, Mexico and various parts of Canada.  I would love to see Australia and Scotland in my lifetime though.
  • Who has been the biggest influence in your life?  Why?  The two authors that really influenced me are from two opposing genres — Stephen King, of course, made me dream of being a writer — many writers and would-be writers growing up in the 80s would agree with that.  I devoured every novel or short story I could get my hands on.  In my late twenties, I started reading fantasy and that became my new obsession.  I read and collected everything by R.A. Salvatore.  These two authors definitely shaped my writing voice.
  • What do you think is the best television show created?  I am really invested in the Game of Thrones series which should not shock anyone.  My favorite before that was Dexter (you see a theme here?  Fantasy/Horror.  I cannot seem to escape this trend!).  I have also really liked Penny Dreadful, Star Trek, Breaking Bad and the Walking Dead.
  • What do you like to do in your free time? What are your hobbies and interests?  I am a huge fan of racquetball, pickleball and tennis.  I also love hiking and occasionally I like to lift weights — which I need to make more routine!  Movies and video games are also a great source of inspiration and entertainment.  Absolutely love my family and spending time on the weekends with them especially.
  • Proudest moment in life?  Can’t help but say the moment when I first held Jessiena, my two-year-old daughter!  Every element of my life has led up to this wonderful little life in my hands and I wouldn’t have changed a thing!!
  • Do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?  I have a large shoulder tattoo that I am very happy with.  I designed it — it has a black Celtic knot in the center of a ring of three black, tribal dragon heads.  The knot represents the many convoluted ways you can take in life and the dragon heads represent the three aspects of my Past, my Present and the Future me.
  • Favorite holiday or time of year?  October and especially Halloween is the best for me.  It really brings out the creative side of me and I like to work up new costumes each year.  They tend to be nearly all undead but with twists or unique differences.  So much fun!  My wife is also going to dress this year (she hasn’t in a long time).  She will be doing the Day of the Dead look maybe.  Jessiena will be a tiny scarecrow.  She’s going to be so adorable!

Okay, I think that will do.  Hope this was useful and you got some helpful writing tips.  Or at least a little fun for your day!

Happy Halloween, Everyone!

Halloween 2015

Bi-Monthly Goal Recap & New Goals Set — Derek Barton

Capture 5

July & August Bi-Monthly Goals 

In early July, I detailed how I came across an idea of Bi-Monthly Goal Setting by YouTube blogger, Kristen Martin

Overall, my goals were ambitious and probably a bit unrealistic.  However, I did accomplish the biggest goals in my opinion and I am very proud of that.  I will be a bit more strategic with the new goals and I want to have more balanced goals for the next two months.  When you work a full-time day job and have limited time and energy at night, you have to decide on priorities.  Technically, I was not successful in meeting 80% with getting only 7 of the 15 goals, but that is okay as it teaches me even more about myself and lessons on better goal-making.

RECAP: 

  1. Finalize my Chapter Outlines for The Bleeding Crown
  2. Complete the First Rough Draft of Bleeding Crown
  3. Complete 52,000 words written (52 days * 1000 words)

So the good news is that I did finalize my outline and I was able to finish the first draft of Bleeding Crown on August 26th.  I started it back on March 26th which means it only took me five months which is a huge step forward compared to previous efforts.  

The bad news is that the draft monopolized all of my writing time.   It was a lot harder than I thought it would be getting through the end of the book.  Pretty much all else had to be set aside while I tried to finish.  

What happened was that I had some big, lofty ideas for my characters and I was not sure how to get them to that point.  My original outline had been completed with too many broad strokes and I had to really take a lot of time to work up my plans for the events.  Even once the plan has been determined, writing the scene was not always as cut and dry either.  Anyway, I ended up with over 43,000 words for the two months (which is over 80% of my goal of 52,000).

  1. Outline first two books of Elude Series
  2. Write out three more Elude Sections

As stated above, almost everything had to be pushed onto the back burner in order to get The Bleeding Crown rough draft completed.  I did get two sections of Elude posted to the website (total of 4).  I will be “progressing” the goal of working up Elude’s outlines onto my agenda for the next two months.  I am excited by the potential of this book series and will be working up the backstories and characters so that I can use this series for the NaNoWriMo Challenge. 

For those who are not aware of the Challenge, it is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) in November.  Writers all over the country and around the globe take the entire month of November to write up a story of novel-length size (50,000 words).  I have never done this before, but have wanted to try it in years past.  This year I WILL TAKE THE CHALLENGE!

 

  1. Compile and create an Ebook on the Writing Craft from my past blogs:

I did put this together and even got an exclusive offer by a new editing company.  They will work on the manuscript for free and give me their recommendations.  I wanted to see what they can do.  The Ebook is only 11,000+ words, yet I feel it will be a fun and worthwhile read.  I hope to have it out on Amazon and Kindle by the end of the year.  Current working title is Rookie:  Pitfalls of Year One.  It is a guide on self-publishing and writing craft techniques.

 

  1. Design bookmarks for my books

I failed to even attempt this as I had limited time to get through a hefty writing goal. 

 

  1. Get the character portraits from artist by August and start getting Poker Card and Calendars made

This did not pan out as well as my artist had too many other obligations at this time.  It is something I still plan on doing, but I will have to research and find alternatives. 

 

  1. Complete two Giveaways (one on Kindle Review and my own Indie Book Giveaway):

The giveaways were successful and very rewarding (I received an email from the grand winner of the Giveaway I had created.  She had been restricted to bed by serious health conditions and this was great timing for her to get all the books).  They also helped with my email list and brought traffic to my author website.  I plan on participating or sponsoring future giveaways, so keep an eye out for news!

 

  1. Complete one Newsletter a month:

Both newsletters were sent out without issues. 

 

  1. Read one writing craft book a month:

Fail!  Ugh.  No time to read.  I did listen to books with Audible, but these were strictly as entertainment.   

 

  1. Prepare for book convention in Tucson:
  2. Get booth banners:

While I would like to attend, finances right now will not allow for comic-con participation.   I am thinking that with the possible sales from the non-fic book and/or Audible version of Consequences Within Chaos, I will have a bit more opportunity to do the conventions and book festivals next year.

  1. Strive to walk 3 miles a night, workout set at least once a day:

I fell off the diet wagon these last few weeks.  So, I cannot give myself a pass on this goal, but now that the rough draft is not so pressing, I hope to re-establish my routine and even add weight lifting into the regimen.

  1. Create a book trailer video:

This was postponed.  I am not sure that I am going to do one, so, for now, this will be taken off the goal list altogether.  Making and compiling a video would take away a lot of my writing time.

 

September & October Bi-Monthly Goals

  1. Outline first two books of Elude Series.
  2. Develop the list of Elude characters and develop their background.
  3. Create a NaNoWriMo Prep Folder in Scrivener and complete the list of development items.
  4. Write 1,000 words per day – blogging, outlining, writing (61,000k).
  5. On October 1st, start editing phase for The Bleeding Crown.
  6. Design book cover for Rookie: Pitfalls of Year One.
  7. Write new book blurbs for all my works and revamp all of the Amazon ads.
  8. Complete a newsletter for each month.
  9. Find a part-time post or two – extra income to help with new bills and investment in writing projects/marketing.
  10. Lose at least 15 pounds in the next two months through refined calorie counting/nightly walking/weight lifting.
  11. Read a writers craft book, listen to podcasts and youtube blogs weekly on marketing/writing.
  12. Start a new series of blog posts.
  13. Research and find alternative artists for projects (i.e. poker cards portraits, calendar and bio cards).

This goal set seems a little more in line with what I have time to do and will not spread me out on too many other projects at once.  I guess time will tell!  

 

 

Elude #4 — Derek Barton

Capture 4

 

Vicente was out of breath. The heat was exhausting and oppressive.  It was as if he was being smothered under thick wool blankets. He leaned against a park bench, gasping and his mouth gaped open and closed like a pet gold fish.

My lungs feel like they are filled with embers, he agonized.

The sun sunk below shapes of Camelback Mountain and disappeared from view, but Phoenix still baked alive in the twilight.

Shadows popped up everywhere and lengthened into jagged, rotted teeth.

There was no one in the park. He looked about him, paranoid and anxious.  Encanto Park was never this empty. Even in the early AM hours, bums and addicts roamed around the grounds begging for handouts or cigarettes.

Four, parked cars sat abandoned in the parking lot. The car owners were also nowhere in sight.

Ahead was an unlit, brick structure which served concessions and towels during the day to the squealing-with-delight kids that were lined up for the community pool. The ebony glass front reflected back at him, the interior empty and soulless.

He stood up and walked away from the bench. Pulling up his hoodie, he swiveled around and glanced again at the surrounding area as he crossed the lot.

This isn’t right, his instinct whispered inside.

His eyes couldn’t find anything wrong except something about the street lights that bordered the park. They were powering on, but only emitted tiny cones of light. At this hour, Vic was sure the park’s own tower lights should have been on. Patches of pitch black swallowed entire sections of the park.

An iron fence surrounded its interior. There were eight basketball courts, the hoops were silhouettes in the sky like forgotten soldiers in formation in front of the racquetball center. Behind the center, white lines which marked the tennis courts were barely visible.

No traffic came down 15th Avenue on the west side of the park grounds. In fact, Vic could not hear a single noise — car, person or otherwise. It was as if the city as one held its breath.

Night compressed upon him. Air thickened, wrapped its arms around him and the only noise he heard was his own heartbeat. More of the buildings in the distance were swallowed in pitch black. A charcoal wave washed along the western horizon, dots of light snuffed out one by one. They popped and twinkled away like shooting stars.

His skin prickled and an energy radiated through him. Fear lifted the hair on the back of his head. Involuntarily, he walked backward, away from the sight. After hours the gates were closed and the fences padlocked. This didn’t deter him. He heaved up and thrust his body up and over the top of the gate with a practiced precision.

He could see a set of cement dugouts above the dips of a skate park ahead. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but they would provide a little shelter and a place to sleep tonight. He tried to pretend all was safe and right.

“Park is closed.” A husky voice came out of nowhere behind him.

Vic spun on his heels to face it.

No one was there. His eyes strained to peer into the gloom.

He blinked. He blinked again.

The high rises of the eastern horizon were darkening. Their lights were not turning off but were diminishing. Fading as if their energy sources were drained to nothing.

All around the park, the city shut its bright eyes and slept inside the ebony blanket he saw earlier.

“Park is closed.” This time louder, the voice rasped over his right shoulder.

Vic spotted a lanky figure that hovered in the murky shadows of the racquetball center. The stranger surrounded in inky mists hadn’t been there moments before.

He couldn’t make out any features but he guessed by their stature that it was a man with a thick curly beard. Yet, he didn’t make any movement or sound.

“Hello?” Vic called out. In spite of being on the run and shouldn’t be attracting any attention, he felt compelled to react.

No answer.

“I see you!” He shouted.

The Beard started forward, his feet making no sound as they skimmed over the concrete. “I see you too.”

Enough of this!

He charged to the left, sprinting through the sands of the volleyball courts.

“Where are my hands, Vic?” A high-pitched woman’s voice followed after him, terse and angry.

He skidded to a stop and spun around, his eyes frantic and searching.

“Who’s there? Who said that?”

“You know who.”

The voice came from a lump of shadows where someone sat in the sand at the base of a park lighting pole. She struggled to her knees and bucked forward and staggered to her feet. Light played over her gaunt and bloody features. Dirt caked her cheeks and patches of white skull gleamed through her thinning blonde hair.

“Give them back to me. Give me my hands!”

What the hell is this?

“Park is closed.” The Beard had gained on him and was only a few feet away. His features were still obscured in the smoky mist that swirled about him.

Vic retrieved a serrated knife from his waistband and brandished it. “Get the fuck away from me!”

He swung the blade back and forth in a semi-circle of threat in front of him. His arm trembled.

“That isn’t your knife. Not the one you used before.”

Another feminine voice came at him from below, down by his sneakers.

A naked body, missing arms and legs, thrashed in a pool of syrupy blood.

“Where is the knife you used on me before you stuffed me in the trunk?” she garbled up at him, choking on ropes of clotted blood that oozed out along with her words.

Vic shrieked and leaped backward.

“Why did you do this to us?” He snapped his head up seeing another woman hung from a light pole in the tennis court area.  Her body on display in its mini cone of light.  Blood dripped in endless streams from dozens of cuts and lacerations. She was strung up with a white and blue-striped nylon rope.

“I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT I DIDN’T DO THIS!” He screamed at her. Screamed at the top of his lungs, “I DIDN’T DO ANY OF THIS!”

“We all saw you.” They chanted as one back at him. A hand clamped down on his leg above the ankle. He felt the cold of her skin through the material of his jeans.

Vic twisted to escape, but his leg remained locked in her icy grip.

He shrieked again when he felt another set of crawling fingers work themselves up his right shoulder. A severed hand, pale and with freshly done fingernails, grabbed at his face, covering his mouth. He lost his balance and fell with a loud splash into the sand.

Two new, bulky shadows crowded over him.

“Make this easy, buddy. Tell us where the others are and we’ll work a deal out with them.” The fat detective said as he chuckled and drank from his Circle K foam cup.

“We don’t have to hand you over,” Kemp, the skinny black detective said as he knelt next to Vic. He poked a thumb at the thrashing body which was rolling closer. “You left her teeth. She’s going to use them.”

NOO! His mind screamed. Reality like a mirror cracked and splintered into shards. The world bucked up and down under him.

Pain exploded in his head and a lightning flash of agony blinded him. He rolled over onto his back groaning and clutching at his forehead. Rivulets of blood pumped up between his fingers. Daylight pierced his vision and speared directly into his brain.

As his headache blossomed into a migraine, he understood that the morning had arrived. He was laying in the concrete dugout among spit out gum and patches of dried dog piss under the stone bench which he had used as a bed.

The graphic nightmare replayed over in his head again. Not a single detail had faded. No dream had ever come so close to reality before for him. His breath was still ragged and his body trembled from the terror.

A familiar voice was inside his head. It spoke independent and on its own…

“Park is closed.”

Vic sat straight up.

“I see you.” The voice repeated, this time it followed with a giggle.

At eye-level, a serrated knife had been placed on the bench. It hadn’t been there when he had gone to sleep.

It was his knife though. The knife he left at the house he shared with Cat, packed away under his bed. Someone retrieved it, placed it by his head and left while he was tortured by the nightmare.

His lips pressed into a thin line and his jaw locked when he spotted two distinct and wet, bloody finger prints on the handle.

WHO THE HELL IS DOING THIS TO ME?

Immerse or Die! — Derek Barton

 Capture C
Yes, I am stealing this title directly from a great writing website, Creativity Hacker  created by the author Jefferson Smith.
Or… rather I am paying homage to it.
Why?  Because one, that title is sure to catch your attention and it has a literal punch to it.  And I want your attention with this blog.  Two, this is one of the most important things you have to know as a writer in my opinion.  If you are not pulling that reader in and capturing their complete attention, then you are not fulfilling your obligation to take them away from their lives and take them by the hand into your world, your story.
A break in immersion occurs at the point when a reader has to stop and analyze any sentence for any reason. If they are thinking about your words, they are not thinking about your characters.
The concept behind Jefferson Smith’s Immerse or Die is that he takes new submitted books and reviews them while doing a 40 minute walk on his treadmill.  If his “immersion” is broken three times, he puts the book aside.  Later he writes up his reviews and then posts the results. He highlights the stories that live through the test period so they get full glory and recognition.
I spent a lot of time there and learned a lot from his ideas and rules to keep readers immersed in the story.
Look at the following chart that shows you the outcome of his reviews in 2015:
Capture B
Here is the Blog Link to his blog review.
Here are some of the most common errors to keep in mind especially when you are editing!
 
Clarity!  Be careful when you are writing your prose. Keeping it simple and at the same time “poetic” is a very fine line that you have to tightrope walk.
The Hemingway App Editor is a great, free resource that will help your writing. It will identify and highlight sentences that are not in an easy to read format or structure.  It will also detail what grade level the work is.  The lower the grade the more relatable it will be to the readers.
Another way to keep the reader immersed is avoiding Echo Words, Echo Headers and Repeat Passages.  This one was a huge problem for me and I was not even aware of it until I applied the rule during my own editing phase.  I had repeat words and overused phrases everywhere!
An example of an Echo Word or Echo Header is when the writer uses the same word for several sentences in a row or within the same paragraph in the prose.
Example:   The robot failed to stop the invaders.  Henry saw the aliens slip past the machine. The robot raced behind the attackers as they bolted up the stairs.  At the top, the aliens pounded upon the metal doors. The robot then sounded the alarm to alert the compound.
Yes, this is an obvious example, but it does happen often. Other examples include when you use the character’s name over and over on the same page.  I try hard to limit it to three or four times.  Also over using the pronouns instead of the name can be very distracting or repetitive to the reader.  Repetition equates to lack of unique description or lack of originality in the work. Come up with synonyms like the man, the boy, the warrior or the teacher, etc.
Another problem I still wrestle with revolves around names.  If you have too many names that sound similar or use the same starting letter (i.e. too many M or T names), readers may get confused on who is doing what.  If you have too many complex names (which is my dilemma), then the readers are always pulled out of immersion as they are trying to pronounce the name.  I felt at the time since I was establishing a fantasy world then they wouldn’t have the usual Bob or Mary names.  Yet, my “style” overrode my “message” and I got a lot of feedback on reviews about the complexity of the names. It was obvious that it stuck with my readers and thus, they weren’t always immersed in the tale.
Plot or Story Continuity is also critical in immersion.  If the characters are doing something in one scene based on knowledge of an event that has not happened, that will cause any reader to stop, shake their head and try to piece the puzzle together.
Or if the characters act out of character or do something for no reason, this also frustrates the reader.  Be sure on a final read-through to take the time to write out your plot events on a timeline as they happened.  You should do this even if you are a writer called a “pantser” (write-by-the-seat-of-your-pants style writer) and do not use outlines.  You have to be sure that during your editing you didn’t move a crucial point or event out of its correct time.  The timeline will keep you on track. And it is easier to spot any potential plot holes or inconsistencies.
Keeping immersion also means that the reader can feel, breathe, smell, hear or even taste the elements of the scene.  They are living through the story and not being told a tale. One way to dull your prose or separate your reader from the character is using Filter Words.   Filter Words are just that – words that appear when the reader’s experience has been filtered through a character’s point of view.
Filter examples (and any tense of the words):  To Hear, To Know, To Decide, To See, To Notice, To Feel, To Think, To Assume, To Believe and To Note.  There are a lot more out there, but this gives you an idea of what to look for.
Here are two paragraphs as an example:
Danny thought about tomorrow’s car race and he wondered how he would perform against all the other, more experienced drivers. He heard a car horn blare at him from the traffic waiting behind him.  It was then that he decided that he had to put aside his worries and do the best he could.
Without filters…
A vision of roaring race cars flashed across Danny’s mind.  The day of the race had almost arrived.  How would he do against the other more experienced drivers?  A car horn blared behind him from an impatient driver and interrupted his thoughts.  He shook his head to clear away the doubts.  “I have got this!” he said aloud to himself.
Not all uses of the words above are considered filtering. But, it is a tough trap to avoid and like I said before, one must walk a fine line. Restrict your Filter Words to when they are critical to the meaning of the sentence.
The last Immersion Alert I want to hit upon is Exposition — The “writer’s diarrhea of the mouth”.  Do not fill your pages with tons of historical facts (real or imaginary) or with complex, scientific exposition.  If you do not bore the reader, you will certainly confuse them.  Yes, you can relay some, but everything has to be in moderation.
Also in step with this, don’t fill your pages with huge paragraphs or have exhaustive chapters.  The reason for breaks in writing is just that:  a mental and physical break for the reader.
The current readers today are conditioned to fast action or events happening at the same time or in rapid order Producers have designed video games, television shows and movies to cater to short attention spans.
Fine-tuning your writing so that the reader lives through the character is a tall task, yet it is a very rewarding endeavor.  Don’t water down your message or limit your story’s potential by ignoring the rules to immersion.  After all, the very reason we spend hours pouring over our writing is to bring the reader inside, right?
In terms of jumping into a character’s skin, I try to immerse myself in the role as much as possible to bring me closer to them. All I do is what’s required to achieve what I want to achieve. – Dougray Scott

ONE YEAR BLOG-ANNIVERSARY!! — Derek Barton

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The picture is to pay homage to one of the books that most inspired me to be a horror/epic fantasy writer:  The Shining by Stephen King!

 

Jack and friends have come out to celebrate with me on MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY writing my blog!!

 

I am super thrilled to celebrate and mark this occasion.  It certainly doesn’t feel like I have been doing this blog for a whole year!  What an incredible journey it has been — in a good way filled with a lot of personal growth and accomplishments that I didn’t think were possible.

Just a few stats that I would like to point out.  Since July 17th, 2016:

  • Visitors to the site:  659
  • Views on the different pages:  1603
  • Visitor countries:  19 different nations (including Japan, Thailand, Australia, Indonesia, Czech Republic, United Kingdom, Romania and someplace called Guernsey!)
  • Blogs posted:  37 (this will be 38th!)
  • Stats for July 2016:  79 visitors, 219 views
  • Stats for July 2017:  184 visitors, 244 views (and the month hasn’t finished!)

 

Been an unbelievable year and I am ecstatic to see what the next year will bring! Thank you for being with me this year and enjoying the ride with me.  You are all my favorite passengers! ha!

 

Now back to work….

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE JACK A DULL BOY

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE JACK A DULL BOY

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE JACK A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE JACK A DULL BOY

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE JACK A DULL BOY

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE JACK A DULL BOY

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE JACK A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE JACK A DULL BOY

ALL

WORK

DULL BOY

 

 

 

 

Elude #3 — Derek Barton

Blog pic 21

 

Elude #3

Vic felt the stiff metal of the chair pressed up against his back. The sweatshirt stuck to his skin and chafed around his neck. Inside the interrogation room, it was dead still with no AC blowing through the vents.

Just another old trick that they play. Keep the suspect in the room, make him sit there worrying about what he had been brought in for, what do the police know… Literally to make him squirm and sweat.  Vic surmised.

Then they will enter all smooth and nonchalant. Offer up a cold soda to get me to relax a bit. One of the cops, the good cop, will offer to take the can or glass away to throw away. Secretly they are gathering more evidence for fingerprinting and DNA for later.

He frowned and adjusted his chair.

Stop that! His mind scolded. They are watching you. Remain cold, emotionless. Don’t give them anything to work with. When they come in, you have to be the investigator. You’ve got to learn what they know.

His skin crawled with the feeling of their eyes upon him, observing him through the two-way mirror. Judging him not only on his past history, but by his race as well. He understood the reality of things. Yet, he still hated it, but he wasn’t going to fool himself to thinking that he would not be held accountable to a social stereotype either.

The last day and night had become surreal. It was as if he drove to that wealthy neighborhood and parked his car in another parallel reality. Nothing had made sense since he had stepped into her house.

He had to find answers if he was going to get through this and out of the elaborate steel trap that he was in.

A subtle knuckle rap at the door announced the entrance of the case detectives. The first was an older white cop with a scruffy, grey goatee, brown and unkempt hair above a set of sharp blue eyes. The detective following him stood a good five inches taller. A black and athletic man, close-cropped hair and a strong jawline. Although he seemed more of a younger, model-type, there was a sense of confidence that surrounded him.

Each had a drink in one hand and several manila folders tucked under the other arm. They joined Vic at the table, sitting across from him and opened their file folders without a word.

I am this week’s guest star on Law & Order. Madre! Vic made the dumb joke inside.  His nerves were ragged. Outside, he remained stone and stoic.

“Vicente Vargas, age 23,” said the black detective in a monotone announcer voice.

“Before we start, champ, you want a drink or something?” the other “Good Cop” offered with a shark grin.

There it was… and so we begin.

He shook his head with a tiny movement.

“You sure? Kind of hot in here, no?”

Vic stared away from them and did not acknowledge the offer. The longer he could drag this out, the better his chances were of getting information to be slipped out.

It was the exact tactic the two seasoned detectives were angling for.

Good Cop stepped up, “I’m Detective Chad Ellis. This is my partner on this case, Detective Payton Kemp.”

He still gave them nothing.

Detective Ellis continued to lead the conversation. “I see… you are a person of few words. Okay… Well, let’s not start that way. The more open you are with us, the more we are going to be able to help you out, Vicent.”

“Vicente.” Corrected Detective Kemp.

“Uh, yeah, sorry.” Ellis coughed into his hand and restarted, “Why don’t we go over the facts and then you can fill in some details for us?”

His eyes remained locked on Vic’s, looking for any signs of cracks in the foundation. The scan was penetrating and precise. Those eyes were focused, experienced and yet somehow haunted.

Like Cory Tames, Vic mused. The kid had been a meth junkie since he was eleven years old and had been serving his sixth drug sentence when he met him.

When Cory talked to you, his mouth said one thing, yet his eyes were alive with ghosts running around in his head. You almost could see them flash by.

There was something that the heavy-set detective had seen that reminded him of Cory. Something still hovered over him. Ellis hadn’t let go of it and it had stained his soul. Vic made mental note – Could I use that somehow?

“Yesterday evening around 4:30 to 5:30 pm, at 1718 Lioness Estates Drive, Shari Renee Thomas was stabbed to death. She had been butchered inside her parent’s house. At 2828 S Margo Drive, Vicente Anthony Vargas parked his 2007 Chevrolet Cobalt. Inside it, Officer Dan Reccard discovered her body.” Kemp read aloud to the room, then he sat back in his own steel chair.  Both detectives waited and watched.

Don’t give them anything. Vic repeated to himself in his head. Shari Thomas, remember that name. Wait.. They said she was killed between 4:30 to 5:30. I wasn’t there until after 6! I can use… No, they may be baiting me. Giving me false rope to hang myself. Dammit!

“Vicente, listen. You are in a world of hurt here. I want to understand what happened. Help yourself and take my advice. Now is the time to tell us your side of things. Tell us what she did.”

Their game of pleading, threatening, bribing, pretending went on for another half hour. He didn’t give them anything.

A knock at the door interrupted their little performance. After he answered it, Kemp rushed out of the room holding another manila folder. Five minutes later he returned and whispered into his older partner’s ear.

“Yeah? No shit?” Genuine surprise came out.

They both turned to look incredulous at Vicente.

Bullshit. Bullshit games, my main man, whispered Rory again in the dark recesses in his head.

Kemp returned to sit at the metal table across from the young Hispanic.

“You aren’t giving us much choice here, bud. I know we asked you earlier if you wanted your lawyer and you refused, but maybe this is your ploy. Are you a gamer, Vicente?”  Ellis started.

Vic felt more sweat gather at the back of his neck. He still averted his eyes, staring at the back of his hands in front of him. Something had changed, shifted in their favor.

“I know you are smart. You know a lot of the system since you did your earlier stint. Did you get taught some legal magic in jail? You learned some good tricks that will work this all out?” Kemp jumped in with a mocking taunt.

“Thinking that if there’s no lawyer maybe you can say that we didn’t allow you counsel or didn’t advise you to get one?” Ellis pointed at a corner in which a camera was directed at them, a tiny red light blinked.

“It’s all on tape. Just like the recording of you leaving the Thomas residence. “ He paused again to let that sink in.

“You need to start working this out with us, Vicente.”

Stone cold silence. No show of emotions.

Kemp turned in his chair and looked at Ellis. “Samantha Troy? Do you think…?”

Ellis scrunched his face and then shook his head slowly. “I hadn’t thought of that, but why?” He shifted back to Vic, leaned over the table and clasped his hands in front of him. “We have the body. Are you going to admit to this? Perps like you have gotten themselves away from the death penalty by being cooperative and leading us to the other bodies.” His tone was flat and matter-of-fact.

Yet, when he said “Perps like you” an expression flickered across his face. A crack in his practiced foundation. A glimpse behind the detective mask to the disgusted and angry hero wanting justice. That look scared Vicente. It was an honest and deep emotion — brief but revealing. He exposed a truth: they have actual hard evidence.

Oh god, I am in so deep!

Vic met the detective’s gaze for the first time, his top lip involuntarily trembled. “I didn’t hurt that girl. I didn’t know her.”

“Who is this then?” Kemp slid a head shot of a dead woman at him. A pretty, red head with cloudy white eyes stared up at the photographer, but Vic felt those dead eyes pierce into him.

I don’t know you!

“Who’s hands are these?” Kemp slid another photo of the hands from the backpack.

The older detective slapped his hand down on the pair of pictures startling Vicente. “Why do you have them if you had nothing to do with their murders?”

“WHAT?” Vic blurted. “Murders?”

“I am going to run her DNA and find out her name soon enough. You would save us a lot of time, you would give her family closure and you would go a long way to bettering your situation, IF YOU TELL ME WHO THIS WOMAN IS!” Ellis pointed at the cut hands.

Two dead girls. And they think there’s more.

“Is this Samantha? Did you kill Samantha Troy?” Kemp asked in a more even tone.

It was like a one-two punch followed up with an uppercut to his jaw. The detectives had him boxed in and on the ropes. He even felt like the room was spinning.

“I want a lawyer.” He rasped.

The detectives sighed in unison. They felt that they were on to something. A confession, a rant, a breakdown, something… It had been close in hand. Whatever it was, it didn’t happen and their window had past.

Kemp spoke out loud for both Ellis and their prisoner to hear, “He’s scheduled to be brought downtown on the transfer at 9 am. We can speak with him and his lawyer then. Give him time to rethink his story and be more willing to save himself the needle!”

Vic lowered his face into his hands.

 

***

 

Bernice Baxter was a bitch.

She knew it, she embraced it. It normally made her job and her life easier. Or at least easier to get her way. People did not like conflict and many would give way rather than stand up to you.

Once more and for the seventeenth time that morning, she looked at her watch. It was 8:12 AM.

From behind her she heard the familiar jingle of The Price Is Right playing on the television in the front room. With her hands on her hips, she glanced over her shoulder. She saw Anna Witherspoon, Bernice’s shut-in patient who sat propped up on the couch with three pillows behind her. She giggled and smiled through her oxygen mask at the TV as the show began.

The rotation of “Idiot TV” was starting — first The Price Is Right, then The Jerry Springer Show and then Judge Judy all before the lunch hour. These shows were dumbing down America she felt and were exactly what was wrong with this country.

Don Witherspoon, Anna’s oldest son was overdue from his work shift.  He should have been there by 7:30 AM.

Bernice hated her work taking care of elderly. She was always disgusted and dismayed at how the body deteriorated at the end of life and it often required a lot of care support.

Days like this one she wondered again how she fell into this line of work and how she managed to stay in it. Her lack of bedside manner had kept her out of any nursing positions, but her lack of ambition had stalled her life early in her twenties. Her late husband had kept them afloat with his antique shop. Now a widow and making due with her low wages, bitterness was her true obsession in life.

“Can I have some cereal at least?” A petite, brunette girl whined from the upstairs hallway near the bedrooms.

“Shut it!”

“But—”

“Shellie, I don’t get paid any extra for you to eat. I am not here to take care of you.” Bernice berated her in icy tones.

Don’s only child was a seven-year-old oddball. Currently she had the girl sitting in the corner on a little footstool.

Bernice didn’t like her from the start. If she had been seven years old too she would have gathered a group to jump Shellie and would have beat the snot out of the brat. In her day, that was just what you did to the oddballs — the ones that didn’t quite fit in and they didn’t get why.

The mousy girl always had her face in a computer screen or eyes glued to her smartphone. That morning Bernice had walked in on her watching Youtube videos on the basics of computer hacking. When she had reached for the laptop, Shellie had shouted at her and pulled away.

Bernice had slapped her a hard sharp smack across the top of her thigh. The girl’s shorts would hide any marks or bruises that formed.

She smiled knowing that the girl would be too modest to undress in front of her daddy so there was little chance of being discovered accidentally. Shellie was smart though. She wouldn’t say anything to Don and risk getting worse from Bernice. This wasn’t the first time one of her patient’s had a brat to deal with.

Bernice Baxter was a bitch.

“Next we will have our winners Spin the Wheel after these messages from our sponsors!” Drew Carey bellowed in the background.

Don Witherspoon burst in out of breath through the kitchen door. The clock on the stove said 8:26 AM.

He was covered in sweat and his beige uniform had several patches of sweat.

“I am so so sorry, Ms. Baxter!” He apologized.

“No more,” she shook her head in emphasis. “I am quitting. Not only are you late again, but your daughter kicked me this morning! And on top of that, I am going to be stuck on the 202 an extra hour due to the morning traffic! Too much. I am done!”

She’d practiced the speech in her head almost a dozen times while waiting. He had no one else to go to. Timing was critical and finally she had enough to threaten to quit… unless he offered her more money. She had him by what her Eddie would have called “the short hairs”.

Swiping her big green purse from the table, she brushed rudely past him and out the door toward her rusting 2006 Chevy Impala parked on the street.

He raced after her begging for another shot. She made him suffer until she reached for her car door handle. Finally turning to face him, “The only way I can put up with Shellie and your mother any more will be if you pay me an extra $2 an hour. NO LESS!”

Don blanched in surprise and then sagged in defeat. He shook his head in agreement. “I will have a talk with Shellie, I promise. Can you come by tomorrow? The register locked up today and I will have to go in to the laundry mat early tonight to balance out the drawer. Please?”

“Fine.” She didn’t care about the extra time tonight. Her victory elation overshadowed the inconvenience.

As she drove away she watched him in her rearview mirror. “Dumbass!” She laughed and then headed for the freeway.

At 9:12 AM, Bernice pulled out from the onramp and merged into the rush hour crowd.

It was hot already, the radio stated it was nearing 96 degrees. She frowned and punched the button to look for a country music station.

At 9:16 AM, the Impala lurched forward and sputtered like it had a gas hiccup.

“What the hell?” She shrieked. However, the car continued to race along at 48 mph. There were no red engine lights or any other dashboard signals to account for it.

“I just got this damn thing an oil ch—” The wheel yanked to the right on its own and the car brakes plunged to the floor by themselves.

Car horns blared and deafening tire screeches surrounded her. The Impala skewed to a parked position in the fast lane. Cars whizzed by close and narrowly avoided her.

Bernice screamed and smashed her foot on the gas to try to get the car moving again.

Nothing…

“Oh dear lord!” She mouthed the words as she tried the door handle. Her breath taken away from her intense terror.

The door wouldn’t open, all were locked.

The Impala growled and then revved fiercely as if it were alive and had a mind of its own.

Again Bernice screamed as the car ripped across the three lanes of oncoming traffic. It barreled through the cement barrier.  Flung forward, she broke her sternum on the steering wheel at the same time the air bag deployed.

At 9:17 AM Bernice Baxter’s car nose dived through the air, plunging over 80 feet onto the unaware traffic below.

The blinding air bag prevented her from seeing the impact of her car as it plowed through the front cab of a long, grey prison transport bus. A bus headed for the downtown Phoenix Jail.

Bernice Baxter blinked for the last time as her eyes filled with blood. She hung against the bus’ hood and partially out of her shattered driver-side window. The back door to the bus burst open and men clad in orange jumpsuits fled in all directions down the freeway ramp.

Flames flickered and scalded her pulped legs as engine oil and fluids flooded the ground.  Her skin darkened and her flesh sizzled like bacon.

She didn’t feel the heat or the pain.

Bernice Baxter would never see her extorted raise.

Bernice Baxter had finally ceased being a bitch.

 

***

 

At 9:20 AM as Don Witherspoon scolded Shellie on how her abusive behavior had cost him, a miniature, green light blinked three times in a rapid series on her laptop. It had laid abandoned in the sheets of her bed.

A fire engine horn blast followed by the sounds of several wailing police cars could be heard somewhere north of their house. Neither of them noticed nor heard the emergency sirens.

Neither of them noticed nor heard the single bleep and soft hum of a file download beginning.

2017 Bi-Monthly Goals for July & August — Derek Barton

Blog Pic 7-10-17

July & August Bi-Monthly Goals

Recently, I came across an interesting video blog on Youtube from fantasy novelist, Kristen Martin. She outlined her “bi-monthly” goals for the months of January & February. I liked the process a lot and I could see how it would be a great motivator for me.

The main aim is to break down your “bigger picture” goals into easier, more obtainable goals. These can be both professional as well as personal. The other part to the process is to publicize them as this gives you a sense of accountability. If I can accomplish at least 12 of the 15 goals then that is 80% which is a “winning” and successful score!

I will be revamping these again in September. I will give you a rundown of how I did and then a new or revised list.

Here are my goals for the next two months:

1. Finalize my Chapter Outlines for The Bleeding Crown: I am a big time “plotter” as they say in the industry. I write faster and have better quality of work if I know where I am going in each chapter.   You can think of it like a road map.  Some authors write by the seat of their pants (“pantsers”), but when I did this, I found I would always get lost. Then I would lose enthusiasm for the story and not finish. For this story, I know exactly where I am heading and how I want it to end. The difficulty is to determine all the little steps along the way on that road getting to the finale!

2. Complete the First Rough Draft of Bleeding Crown: I have been putting a lot of effort into writing the first draft and have three quarters of the story down. Unfortunately, I am quickly coming up to the end of what I had written for the outline. Thus, goal #1 and goal #2 go hand in hand. If I don’t do #1, I won’t get near #2. Sighhhhhh

3. Complete 52,000 words written (52 days * 1000 words):  This ties into the other goals, but even if I finish The Bleeding Crown, I have my Elude series.  I want to accomplish this so I have even more on my site and Amazon for my readers to dig into.  A 1,000 a day is actually not that hard for a lot of writers (Stephen King does over 3,000 every day), but that IS his only career… HA!  Once I can comfortably do this on a daily basis, I will be increasing it.

4. Outline first two books of Elude Series:  A lofty goal for me, but without the stretch goals I won’t know for sure what I can actually accomplish or not, right? I am enjoying this genre as much as I enjoy my fantasy work (both have my biggest love – horror).  I was inspired to write the Elude story after reading Stephen King’s novel Mr. Mercedes which is a great “grim detective” series (he also added a lot of horror elements to this genre story too!).  The novels are all going to be relatively short (under a 100 pages each) as I want them to be an on-going series and I want to build that anticipation element to it.  Plus right now “short is in” on Amazon and writers are finding success with this approach.

5. Write out three more Elude Sections: I am including the first five sections of the first book for Elude on my blog. Would love to hear your thoughts, suggestions or if any of you have questions about the story. Another appeal to this work is that it takes place in my city Phoenix! I moved here when I was 26 and fell instantly in love with it. Now I can take you, my readers, on a whirlwind tour through Vicente’s eyes!

6. Compile and create an Ebook on the Writing Craft from my past blogs: I have kind of already done a part of this. I put my self-publishing and writing blogs together, but have not edited or refined them in any way. The idea is to put them in a non-fiction ebook. It will be my take on the writing craft and what has worked well for me and what has not gone according to plan.

7. Design bookmarks for my books: I do have a couple of bookmarks already that I can sell when I get back into the comic-con game. But I want more and will be coming up with some new ideas from the books. I want to sell these also from my site.

8. Get the character portraits from artist by August and start getting Poker Card and Calendars made: This is another lofty goal as there are a lot of characters from Consequences. Plus, he’s also got a busy schedule and life! This is my goal, but it does require some successful production from him as well.

9. Complete two Giveaways (one on Kindle Review and my own Indie Book Giveaway): I have signed on for another book giveaway on the site Kindle Review. It’s called A Midsummer’s Dream. A cool production that I am happy to be a part of. The other giveaway, of course, is my own, The Indie Fantasy Book Giveaway, which I have been heavily marketing. It has been slow growing, but I am seeing some success with it. This will also help me out on building up my email mailing list. I do love the website traffic I am seeing from the giveaways. This month has already broken my all-time records for most visitors in a month!

10. Complete one Newsletter a month: July’s was already sent out last week and I should have another one out in the first week of August.

11. Read one writing craft book a month: Reading about my writing to me is incredibly essential. It has raised the level of my writing in a short time. It has helped me learn what the current trends are and given me the tools to produce a more polished product than when I started writing again back in 2010.

12. Prepare for book convention in Tucson: I would like to go this convention, but not sure how financially set we will be for me to do so. We have had some setbacks lately and it has stalled my participation in the comic-cons or book shows. Not only do you have to pay to take part and reserve a table, but you also have to pay for the inventory to sell. There is also expenses for travel and any hotel accommodations to consider if you are not doing it locally.

13. Get booth banners: Again this is an investment I would like to make, IF I can get back into the comic-con circuit by the end of the year. I may have to stall on this one and let it go on future month goals coming up.

14. Strive to walk 3 miles a night, workout set at least once a day: The heat in Phoenix this year has been devastating. Last year we did have one or two days over 120 degrees. This year it has been over 120 degrees off and on for a week and a half. The days it hasn’t reached 120+ has still been very oppressive. When I try to walk at night, I have gotten severe headaches. This heatwave won’t last forever, but it sure does feel like it. I moved to get summer year round (lived in the Icy Hell of Indiana for 26 years) – I don’t regret the move, just cannot wait for our normal weather to come back. This fitness goal is to help me with my bigger goal of losing weight. I want to lose 40 by the end of the year!

15. Create a book trailer video: Another high bar goal, but I have been toying with the idea. I have a lot on my plate and with my day job, it doesn’t give me a lot of “free time” to experiment and toy with the technology out there. It may happen, especially since I now see it is not that hard or even expensive to do. The time to research and find all the images is the obstacle.

This is a lot of minor goals, but if I can accomplish this in two short months, then my overall success for the entire year will be very fulfilling indeed. I realize that there is a good chance that most of these will not get completed, but it still helps having them written out so that I see my targets and the road ahead that I need to take.